Cessen Speaks

I've been wanting to write this for several years now. But it only ever occurs to me when either my birthday or christmas are already near, and I'm always afraid of hurting people's feelings who may have already purchased a gift for me.

So first, if you've already purchased a gift for me, I appreciate the sentiment, and I will accept it graciously.

But having said that, I really don't want any gifts. Seriously. Really truly. I actually dislike owning things. I dislike having stuff in my life. To me, there is a measurable psychological/emotional cost of ownership, and I only want to pay that cost for things that I really want in my life. And so I've been putting more and more effort into not accumulating new things unless I can really justify it to myself. Unless I really think I want that thing in my life. Unless I think the cost of ownership is worth it.
And especially with gifts I have a really hard time getting rid of them, because I feel like I'm betraying the people that gave them to me. So in a very real sense, gifts are quite likely to become a burden to me rather than something positive.

Now that's not to say that all gifts are bad to me. I've definitely gotten some great ones that I really, genuinely appreciated beyond just the sentiment. And some of them have even been unexpected--things that I wouldn't have thought to get myself.

But most of the time this is not the case. And so my general experience with gifts these days is... not so positive.

Arg. And I don't want to make anyone feel bad about this. I really appreciate the thought and sentiment behind the gifts people give me. I really do. You all love me and want to express that. And that's great. But I just want to let you know that I would prefer it if you did that in other ways.

For those of you that really still want to get me gifts, I can recommend some things:

First, physical objects are probably not a good idea unless you really know that I want or need them. If you must get me a physical object, things like t-shirts, socks, underwear... all those things that kids hate to get, are actually probably a really good idea. Because I will actually use them, and it saves me a trip to the store to replace my socks and underwear. (I'm not picky about briefs vs boxers, btw, so either is fine.) Things of common practical use that you know I am in need of are great in general (but make sure I don't already have one). Straight-up money is also a-okay, because who couldn't use some more cash?

But truly, I can purchase such items pretty easily myself. And if I am in financial need, you'll know about it and it's unlikely to land on my birthday by coincidence.

So really, the best birthday/christmas/whatever presents you can get me are things that don't require me to own anything. Things that aren't physical objects.

Donating to (or volunteering with) organizations that do good deeds in the world are amazing gifts for me. I have a strong desire to try to improve the world and help people, so anything you can do toward that end is perfect. If you want ideas for specific organizations, I can provide some suggestions. E-mail me.

But honestly, truly: you do not need to get me gifts at all. Really, really, really. In part, if you get me a gift, you're doing it for yourself. And that's fine. But be aware of that.

I've discovered a strange phenomenon here in Europe: people hate pigeons. They call them "rats with wings" (of course demonizing rats is also problematic), and I see people kicking at them and shoing them away. It was particularly distressing seeing a boy perhaps 8 years old trying to kick pigeons. (To be fair, most people ignore them rather than kick them, but still.)

Does this distain for pigeons also exist in the USA? I have not encountered it there.

This negativity towards pigeons has only distressed me more as I have gotten to know a few. I go out to the dock and feed several species of birds on a daily basis now, and it is easily the best part of my day. With the exception of the crows and herens, I've had at least one bird from each species eat directly from my hand at some point. It's really an amazing feeling.

But the pigeons have become particularly friendly, and a few of them will happily perch on me as I feed them. Two of them will even let me pet them, as long as I'm careful (their feathers are so soft!). One of them even perched on my head today for a brief moment. It's an extraordinary experience, having these birds trust you like that. Feeling their feet gripping on you, walking on you. The weight of their bodies.

And you can actually recognize different personalities in them as well. Certainly not the range or complexity of personality as you see in cats, for example, but it is clearly there. Some are braver, some are more timid. Some are nice, some are mean. Some wait patiently for more food, others will get impatient and nip at me in frustration. And after a while I've been able to recognize a few of the individual pigeons, so I know it's the same birds with these fairly consistent personalities. I've even named a few of them.

And having this experience with these pigeons, I really cannot fathom what people have against them. I mean, if you're worried about disease, okay. I guess I can understand that since some of them probably muck about in dirty places. But I've had little trouble with pigeons approaching me unless I'm feeding them. And even then, I had to build up their trust before they would come into physical contact with me. And I had to build up even more trust before they started perching on me.

Dunno. It just seems like a totally bizarre and unjustified hatred of these awesome animals.

I love pigeons.

(Perhaps in another post I'll say something about the other species of birds I encounter at the dock.)

I mostly want to make this public so that I'll actually stick to this. No one needs to actively hold me accountable. In fact, people don't even necessarily need to be supportive. The simple knowledge that I've made a public statement will make me embarrassed to not follow through.

I'm going vegan when I get back to the USA.

However, I'm going to do it in steps, in a similar fashion as I went vegetarian. Part of this is for health reasons (I want/need time to figure out how to eat properly on such a diet), and part of it is just so that I can acclimatize myself to the social implications of it (I am suspecting that going vegan will be substantially more socially difficult than going vegetarian).

My goal is to be completely vegan no later than the end of 2012.

I'm still not 100% sure what the process is going to be. But at the very least, I will probably still eat vegetarian meals that others cook by hand for a while. I'd like to avoid the awkward and tension-making "I won't eat this meal you've made" until I've completely switched in all other regards first.

However, if I am eating with a group that has another vegan in it, I will eat only strict vegan. Period. Being vegetarian, I know how awkward it can be when you're the lone veggie, especially if the group is eating family-style, and also especially when you're the only person preventing a group from going to a certain eatery. So I want to support other vegans in this way even before I've completely made the switch myself.

This is just amazing. This would be amazing even to see most humans do. It's been posted multiple places by multiple people with different video footage, so it seems unlikely that it's special effects (could potentially be an extremely sophisticated bear suit?). Amazing if it's real.

Makes me sad that it's trapped in the zoo, though.

I am a huge fan of non-sequiturs in humor. And therefore, I adore this web comic: Axe Cop

It is written by a 5 year old, and illustrated by his 29 year old brother. The result is full of so much hilarity and awesomeness that you just have to go and read it.

In retrospect, I think every creative team should have at least one 5 year old kid on it. Adults get way to caught up in what "makes sense".