Cessen Speaks

Project Durian is almost over. I’m coming back to the USA on the 20th of July (this month). Yay! :-D

I’ve been planning for a while to go freelance after Durian, and I’m looking forward to seeing how it goes. I’ve already been putting my feelers out looking for possible work. But I’d like to ask that anyone who reads this blog keep an ear out for work that might suit my abilities. This being my first time going freelance, it’s a bit scary.

I’ll be putting together an updated demo reel as soon as I return to the USA. But for now, here is my 2008 reel:

I am especially skilled in rigging and animation, but I am also well versed in modeling, lighting, and rendering. I am happy to do all kinds of work, from full-fledged character animation to visualization to logo animation. No job is too mighty nor too humble.

My software of choice is Blender 3D and related open source offerings, but I am experienced in other software as well (XSI, Maya). However, software costing substantial amounts of money will need to be provided by the other party, at least until I can get my feet solidly under me.

Thanks!

I’ve been wanting to write this for several years now. But it only ever occurs to me when either my birthday or christmas are already near, and I’m always afraid of hurting people’s feelings who may have already purchased a gift for me.

So first, if you’ve already purchased a gift for me, I appreciate the sentiment, and I will accept it graciously.

But having said that, I really don’t want any gifts. Seriously. Really truly. I actually dislike owning things. I dislike having stuff in my life. To me, there is a measurable psychological/emotional cost of ownership, and I only want to pay that cost for things that I really want in my life. And so I’ve been putting more and more effort into not accumulating new things unless I can really justify it to myself. Unless I really think I want that thing in my life. Unless I think the cost of ownership is worth it.
And especially with gifts I have a really hard time getting rid of them, because I feel like I’m betraying the people that gave them to me. So in a very real sense, gifts are quite likely to become a burden to me rather than something positive.

Now that’s not to say that all gifts are bad to me. I’ve definitely gotten some great ones that I really, genuinely appreciated beyond just the sentiment. And some of them have even been unexpected–things that I wouldn’t have thought to get myself.

But most of the time this is not the case. And so my general experience with gifts these days is… not so positive.

Arg. And I don’t want to make anyone feel bad about this. I really appreciate the thought and sentiment behind the gifts people give me. I really do. You all love me and want to express that. And that’s great. But I just want to let you know that I would prefer it if you did that in other ways.

For those of you that really still want to get me gifts, I can recommend some things:

First, physical objects are probably not a good idea unless you really know that I want or need them. If you must get me a physical object, things like t-shirts, socks, underwear… all those things that kids hate to get, are actually probably a really good idea. Because I will actually use them, and it saves me a trip to the store to replace my socks and underwear. (I’m not picky about briefs vs boxers, btw, so either is fine.) Things of common practical use that you know I am in need of are great in general (but make sure I don’t already have one). Straight-up money is also a-okay, because who couldn’t use some more cash?

But truly, I can purchase such items pretty easily myself. And if I am in financial need, you’ll know about it and it’s unlikely to land on my birthday by coincidence.

So really, the best birthday/christmas/whatever presents you can get me are things that don’t require me to own anything. Things that aren’t physical objects.

Donating to (or volunteering with) organizations that do good deeds in the world are amazing gifts for me. I have a strong desire to try to improve the world and help people, so anything you can do toward that end is perfect. If you want ideas for specific organizations, I can provide some suggestions. E-mail me.

But honestly, truly: you do not need to get me gifts at all. Really, really, really. In part, if you get me a gift, you’re doing it for yourself. And that’s fine. But be aware of that.

I’ve discovered a strange phenomenon here in Europe: people hate pigeons. They call them “rats with wings” (of course demonizing rats is also problematic), and I see people kicking at them and shoing them away. It was particularly distressing seeing a boy perhaps 8 years old trying to kick pigeons. (To be fair, most people ignore them rather than kick them, but still.)

Does this distain for pigeons also exist in the USA? I have not encountered it there.

This negativity towards pigeons has only distressed me more as I have gotten to know a few. I go out to the dock and feed several species of birds on a daily basis now, and it is easily the best part of my day. With the exception of the crows and herens, I’ve had at least one bird from each species eat directly from my hand at some point. It’s really an amazing feeling.

But the pigeons have become particularly friendly, and a few of them will happily perch on me as I feed them. Two of them will even let me pet them, as long as I’m careful (their feathers are so soft!). One of them even perched on my head today for a brief moment. It’s an extraordinary experience, having these birds trust you like that. Feeling their feet gripping on you, walking on you. The weight of their bodies.

And you can actually recognize different personalities in them as well. Certainly not the range or complexity of personality as you see in cats, for example, but it is clearly there. Some are braver, some are more timid. Some are nice, some are mean. Some wait patiently for more food, others will get impatient and nip at me in frustration. And after a while I’ve been able to recognize a few of the individual pigeons, so I know it’s the same birds with these fairly consistent personalities. I’ve even named a few of them.

And having this experience with these pigeons, I really cannot fathom what people have against them. I mean, if you’re worried about disease, okay. I guess I can understand that since some of them probably muck about in dirty places. But I’ve had little trouble with pigeons approaching me unless I’m feeding them. And even then, I had to build up their trust before they would come into physical contact with me. And I had to build up even more trust before they started perching on me.

Dunno. It just seems like a totally bizarre and unjustified hatred of these awesome animals.

I love pigeons.

(Perhaps in another post I’ll say something about the other species of birds I encounter at the dock.)

I mostly want to make this public so that I’ll actually stick to this. No one needs to actively hold me accountable. In fact, people don’t even necessarily need to be supportive. The simple knowledge that I’ve made a public statement will make me embarrassed to not follow through.

I’m going vegan when I get back to the USA.

However, I’m going to do it in steps, in a similar fashion as I went vegetarian. Part of this is for health reasons (I want/need time to figure out how to eat properly on such a diet), and part of it is just so that I can acclimatize myself to the social implications of it (I am suspecting that going vegan will be substantially more socially difficult than going vegetarian).

My goal is to be completely vegan no later than the end of 2012.

I’m still not 100% sure what the process is going to be. But at the very least, I will probably still eat vegetarian meals that others cook by hand for a while. I’d like to avoid the awkward and tension-making “I won’t eat this meal you’ve made” until I’ve completely switched in all other regards first.

However, if I am eating with a group that has another vegan in it, I will eat only strict vegan. Period. Being vegetarian, I know how awkward it can be when you’re the lone veggie, especially if the group is eating family-style, and also especially when you’re the only person preventing a group from going to a certain eatery. So I want to support other vegans in this way even before I’ve completely made the switch myself.

This is just amazing. This would be amazing even to see most humans do. It’s been posted multiple places by multiple people with different video footage, so it seems unlikely that it’s special effects (could potentially be an extremely sophisticated bear suit?). Amazing if it’s real.

Makes me sad that it’s trapped in the zoo, though.

I am a huge fan of non-sequiturs in humor. And therefore, I adore this web comic: Axe Cop

It is written by a 5 year old, and illustrated by his 29 year old brother. The result is full of so much hilarity and awesomeness that you just have to go and read it.

In retrospect, I think every creative team should have at least one 5 year old kid on it. Adults get way to caught up in what “makes sense”.

Exciting news! The Durian DVD pre-sale campaign has started!

You can pre-order the DVD here: Durian Open Movie DVD

And if you order before September 15th you get your name in the credits of the movie! :-)

And 30% humidity.

I hate the weather this week. I could really go for some cold, clouds, and rain right about now.

I recently ran across a feature-length animated movie entitled “Sita Sings the Blues”. One of the most surprising things about it is that it’s released for free under the Creative Commons share-alike license. You can download it here:

http://www.sitasingstheblues.com

If you want to support it financially, you can also donate or buy the DVD.

It’s a pretty fun treatment of the story of Sita, from the Indian epic “Ramayana”.

What’s most interesting to me about all of this is that originally Nina Paley, the artist behind the movie, wanted to release it through more traditional channels. But due to her experiences with licensing issues (involving music from the 1920’s that she used heavily in the film), she became a Free Culture advocate.

Aaron and I visited Smurf and Sarah in Pullman last weekend. We had a great time catching up and doing all sorts of things. We went to see Pixar’s “Up”, which was pretty fun.

But as with all visits, it came to an end. Aaron and I packed up the car, hugged the natives goodbye, and drove off over the horizon.

Then we were pulled over by a cop. We hadn’t noticed that the speed limit had changed, and thus were speeding. It was blazing hot, and we had to wait in the car for what seemed like forever while the policeman went and logged some variety of information.

Fortunately the policeman was understanding. We were strangers to this town, after all. And he gave us some directions we already had.

So off we went yet again. Aaron and I had a grand time talking about all manner of things, but particularly how I’ve actually become very judgmental of people based on appearance (it turns out that if you dress “nicely” or “trendy”, then I’m far more likely to write you off as someone not worth knowing; but if you dress strangely or simply haven’t put particular effort into your appearance, then I’m more likely to want to get to know you).

In any case, while we were talking we ended up on the down-side of a hill. Aaron then discovered something quite strange.

“The gas is breaking.”

It seemed that whenever he applied the gas, it was actually slowing the car. Strange, I thought. And then…

“Gah. We’re out of gas.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“You mean, like, we’re actually all the way out?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh.”

And so we pulled the car over at the bottom of the slope, where there was a small bridge over a train crossing. We sat for a moment, a little unsure what to do. And then we got out of the car.

It was hot.

I wondered to myself if it would be feasible to push the car.

“How far to the next town?” I asked.

“Dunno. Maybe 20 miles?” Aaron responded.

Well shoot.

But I wasn’t terribly distraught. Honestly, it was a bit fun. Like an adventure. So like an adventurer I wandered off in no particular direction for no particular reason whilst Aaron called his father for advice.

I ended up walking over to the train tracks, under the bridge. It was maybe 20 meters from the car. I tried my hand at balancing on the tracks, hopping from one side to the other. I was fairly successful. But then I got bored and headed back to the car.

“My dad says to try hitch-hiking. Also, we should put the hood of the car up to seem more sympathetic.”

So we did. And surprisingly it wasn’t long before a car pulled over for us. We ran over as they rolled down their window.

“Can we get a lift to the next town?”

“Sure.”

We opened the the back seat and discovered it was full of stuff. They popped the trunk.

“Just move it back there,” the driver said. So we did. Among the things in the back seat were several blond wigs. Strange, but not off-putting.

We got in. I tried to start a bit of a conversation.

“Where you coming from?” I asked.

“A drag-queen show.”

That explained the wigs! :-)

“Oh cool. I went to pride a couple of weekends ago,” I said.

The rest of the drive was totally silent and awkward.

We arrived in the town of Othello. We thanked the kind people who picked us up, went into a gas station, purchased a container for gas, and promptly went to eat food. It was Subway. And it was yummy.

Then we filled up the gas, and were on the road hitch-hiking again.

We got picked up almost immediately by this awesome old-guy with bad teeth and a fishing hat. His name was Eric.

“I can’t believe no one picked you up yet! Fuck.”

Oh, and he had a puppy. And I got to hold the puppy. The puppy was awesome. It kept on trying to bite me, and I kept on shoving my finger down its throat in response. Each time I did this it would stop biting for about two minutes, and then forget and start biting me again. Silly dog. I adored it.

Eric talked about all kinds of things, and gave us friendly advice. He advised us never to get married, for example. He also swore a lot, but in a positive up-beat way.

Honestly, despite his gruff exterior, you could tell he had a gianormous heart. Just something about him. He was a great guy. I was genuinely glad to meet him.

So we arrived back at the car, poured the gas in, and we were off. We stopped at a gas-station to fill it all the way up, of course. But other than that, the rest of the trip was uneventful.

All-in-all, I’m glad we ran out of gas. It was fun.